It’s About the Horses

Have you ever been so tired that you quit functioning properly? Your thoughts and what words actually exit your mouth are not even remotely the same. You stammer out a similar phrase, which still doesn’t make sense. You grow more frustrated, unable to complete your thoughts. And all your spouse can do is laugh. Not at you, not really, more with you because if you were more awake, you would be laughing too. Except you wouldn’t have said it IF you were more awake.

I’ve been married 11 years to the love of my life and my high school sweetheart, who has also been a soldier for the last 15 years. We spent the first year apart, as he deployed to Iraq 4 months prior to our wedding. He was stateside for pre-deployment training and was lucky enough to score 4 days of leave prior to heading overseas. We got married, spent three days together in newly wedded bliss and then I had to take him back to the airport.

In the years following his return home from deployment, we’ve dealt with some interesting situations mostly due to his PTSD. We’ve been lucky that his isn’t bad and mostly he talks in his sleep. I’ve learned to predict when he has the most sleep issues, always after a long weekend of working 12 to 18 hour shifts for three or four days in a row.

In the beginning it stressed me out. I worried about him streaking, and I do mean streaking out of the house. Trying to explain why my husband was running around the neighborhood in his birthday suit. Once he tried to climb into the ‘gun turret’ in our car, while I was driving us home. I had to talk him down, explaining that he was home not attempting to make ‘SP time.’

Anymore though, I mostly deal with him startling awake when he’s super tired or when the crazy talk starts, that almost always has nothing to do with anything we are talking about. And I, his uber supportive wife, sit beside him in bed, laughing hysterically at what comes out of his mouth.

Tonight: It’s About the Horses.

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